The Pitch
by jt-boi
Summary: Aspiring filmmakers "Colin" and "Mark" meet with Shepard to discuss making a film about the Reaper War.  Too bad Shepard's ideas about the ending don't make any sense.


**A/N:** Just an idea I was struck with today that I had to get down. I used my canon Shepard, who is featured in my other work "Consequence" (insert shameless plug here). I still plan on writing her story through ME2 and ME3, but this was just too fun to pass up. Plus, I wanted to write a little fluff. Thanks for reading!

**The Pitch**

Colin reached out with a trembling hand and keyed the comm to the gated entrance, then ran the same hand through his thick black hair. The beach house had been built into the side of a bluff facing the ocean, and the steep hills plus the large gating keep most prying eyes off the property. He glanced over at his companion in the passenger seat of the aircar, who was nervously biting his fingernails.

"Relax, Mark. She said she liked the treatment," Colin said.

The writer's eyes flicked over to Colin, then back to the ocean view. "Yeah. It only took her a year to read the damn thing," he muttered bitterly.

"But we got the meeting!" Colin gave Mark a playful shove, trying to wrest his creative partner from his sullen mood. "That's a start. We're gonna get this thing going, I know it."

Mark rolled his eyes. He had become used to the young director's bouts of enthusiasm over their project, but he was much more cautious in his optimism. They had experienced more setbacks than he cared to admit.

There was a loud beep, and suddenly a large scanner rose from the ground and swept the aircar in a slow arc. A VI popped out from the comm console.

"Please remain still until the scan is complete," it instructed pleasantly.

Both men froze obediently, but tensed further when they noticed the two remote sentry guns move out from behind nearby shrubbery and level themselves at the both sides of the car. Several excruciating seconds passed before the scanner chirped again and disappeared.

"Thank you for your cooperation. Identification, please."

Colin jammed a hand into his pocket and fumbled with his holo-ID. The VI scanned it several times before finally giving its approval. "Thank you, Mr. Halson. You are expected. Please proceed inside, and have a pleasant day," the VI said amiably, as if it hadn't just aimed heavy weapons at them at all.

The gate swung open, and Colin carefully piloted the car down the winding driveway. He parked behind a rugged, six wheeled all-terrain vehicle. Next to it sat a sleek black aircar with red striping running down its length. Colin got out of his own late model car and let out a low whistle. He immediately recognized the flashy vehicle as one of the brand new X3M sports models that had just been unveiled a few months ago. He nudged Mark as they walked up to the front door. "That hasn't even been put into production yet. Custom paint job, too," he said in admiration.

"I guess saving the entire galaxy gets you some perks, huh?" Mark replied dryly, keying the entrance. The door slid open almost immediately, and they were greeted by an adolescent asari.

"Are you those vid guys?" she asked, somewhat impatiently.

Colin and Mark exchanged glances. "Uh...yeah?" the director replied.

The asari wrinkled her nose, sunlight dancing off a slight smattering of freckles across her cheeks. "Okay." She turned and walked into the house. "Mom! Those guys are here!"

Colin took a few cautious steps into the house as Mark hung behind him. The foyer opened up into a spacious living area, and the far walls were dominated by large windows, through which they could see the entire beachfront sprawled out in front of them. Just off the front entrance was an kitchen with a breakfast bar. An open staircase was just to the right of the kitchen, and past that was a generous alcove that housed a glass dining table. A graceful asari swept out from behind the bar and greeted her visitors with a dazzling smile.

"Please come in. I'm Liara T'Soni." she said, extending her hand.

Colin's eyes widened, stunned both by her beauty and firm grip. He had seen some gorgeous asari, but this was ridiculous. "Colin Halson. Thank you for agreeing to meet with us."

"I know who you are," she replied regally. Her blue eyes flicked over to the other human. "And you must be Mr. Waters."

"Y-yes. We really appreciate your time, Mrs. Shep - T'Soni...er, Doctor Shepard..." Mark floundered helplessly, clearly not immune to the asari's charms.

Liara smiled politely. "'Liara' will do just fine. I believe you met our eldest daughter, Eva." She gestured to the young girl, who was sitting at the bar, her nose in a datapad and appearing utterly disinterested in anything her mother was saying. "I'm sorry, but Evan is running a little behind schedule this morning. She should be down shortly. Have a seat in the living area. May I get you gentlemen anything?"

Colin and Mark exchanged glances as they sat down on one of the plush couches facing the staircase. "No, thank you," Colin replied. The home was virtually spotless, save for several toys strewn about the floor. In the corner sat a playpen, in which a toddling baby stood, grasping the sides with plump blue fingers. She stared at the visitors with wide, violet-tinged eyes , then promptly began fussing for her mother.

"Eva, will find out what's keeping your father?" Liara asked, briskly walking over to the pen and sweeping the baby into her arms.

Eva sighed heavily, and swung around in her seat. "Da-ad! Mom wants to know what's taking so long!" she yelled at the stairs.

"Child," Liara sighed in exasperation. "Would you go up there, please?"

The young asari huffed in annoyance and was about to deign to accommodate her mother's request when a loud bang came from upstairs. Seconds later, a blue blur zoomed down the stairs and launched itself at the couch where the two humans were sitting. There was a flash and a spark of energy, and suddenly Colin found himself looking down at two grinning, twin asari six year olds.

"Solana! Kara! What have you been told about using biotics in the house?" Liara fumed.

Kara darted off the couch, followed closely by her sister. "But you use them all the time! Why can't we?" she protested as she started chasing Solana around the breakfast bar.

"Because your mother is a matron." A deep, authoritative voice boomed from the top of the stairs, stopping the children in their tracks. Both Colin and Mark found themselves sitting up straighter, even though it was not directed at them. "And when _you_ become a matron, _you_ can use biotics in _your_ house whenever you want." Commander Evangeline Shepard stood at the top of the stairs with her hands on her hips, eyeing her daughters critically. The twins nodded solemnly in unison, then continued their mad dash around the bar.

Colin and Mark immediately stood, awestruck, as they were finally in the presence of the Savior of the Galaxy. Colin had never been in the military, having been too young to serve in the Reaper Wars, but he was struck by the ridiculous urge to salute. He began to fidget nervously, wondering what to do with his hands. He heard Mark swallow hard beside him.

Shepard caught them both in the famous piercing gaze that had been in thousands of vid clips and adorned countless recruitment posters. She looked almost exactly the same as in those images - back ramrod straight, determined jaw, startlingly blue eyes. The only difference was the flecks of grey at the temples of her short copper hair. "Sorry to keep you waiting - aw hell, would you sit down? I hate when people do that. I'm not the president." She gave them both a dismissive wave and began descending the stairs. She grasped the railing firmly and leaned against it heavily as she slowly lowered herself down, wincing with each step.

Liara met her bondmate at the bottom of the stairs, the concern evident in her finely-etched features. "Evan..."

"I'm okay, just a little stiff." Shepard's expression softened considerably as she wrapped an arm around Liara's waist. "I'll call Chakwas later," she said, giving her a soft kiss.

"That's gross." Eva stopped ignoring everything long enough to make her opinion known. She looked over at the young filmmakers. "You're not going to put that stuff in the vid, are you?"

Colin shrugged apologetically. "People love great romances."

Eva rolled her eyes. "Oh great. All my friends are going to see this thing. It'll be so embarrassing."

"It has to get made first, kid," Shepard said pointedly. She took the baby from Liara's arms and walked over to the coffee machine, deftly sidestepping the marauding twins. She smoothly poured herself a cup, then went to sit on the couch across from Colin and Mark. "Let's see what kind of vid these boys want to make, hmmmm?" she said, as she bounced her daughter on her knee. The baby squealed with delight.

"She's adorable," Mark offered, finally breaking his silence.

Shepard's normally stoic face broke into a broad smile. "Isn't she? This is Benezia. I thought we were done after we had the commandos here," she nodded at the twins, who were now running laps around both couches and pretending to shoot each other. "But I got talked into another one." She winked at her bondmate, earning another huff from her eldest daughter. Shepard turned back to her guests. "So, which one of you is the writer?"

Mark raised his hand, as if he had been called on in class. "I am."

Shepard nodded. "I read your treatment. Not bad. You did your research." She suddenly reached into the cushions of the couch and pulled out a stuffed krogan. "Here's your Wrex! How'd he get there?" She handed the toy to Benezia, who began gumming it enthusiastically. "But, I have some problems with the ending."

Colin and Mark exchanged worried glances. "That was exactly how it happened," Mark said. "You were on the Citadel, badly wounded, but managed to fire the Catalyst. The Reapers were destroyed, and you were pulled out of the rubble a few days later. I don't understand what the problem is. It's a great ending."

"Yeah..." Shepard hedged. "But it's just so neat and tidy. Are you sure people want to see that?"

"It's the quintessential happy ending. The hero overcomes incredible odds to save the day and get the girl. Audiences love that stuff," Colin chimed in.

"It's not very thought-provoking, though. We need something _deep_," Shepard said, eyes flashing excitedly. "I have a couple of ideas, if you'd like to hear them."

"Of course! Colin and I were hoping you could give us some notes." Mark dug into his pocket eagerly and pulled out a datapad and stylus.

"Okay, this is what I was thinking: I get on the Citadel, convince Illusive Man to shoot himself, Anderson - God bless him - dies, and then just when I'm about to fire the Crucible, I'm interrupted by a kid."

Mark blinked. "A kid?"

"Yeah, but see, this kid has been haunting me the entire vid, right?" Shepard began talking excitedly. "I've been having nightmares about him where I try to save him, but every time I do, he bursts into flames while I hear the voices of all my dead crewmembers."

"Huh." Mark frowned and tapped his stylus against his chin. "That _could_ work..."

"I think you really have to make me tortured. I've been through a lot, you know?" Shepard switched Benezia to her other knee and continued. "So, this kid tells me that _he's_ the Catalyst, not the Citadel, and that he controls the Reapers."

"What?" Colin blurted out. "That's - "

"I know! It's a helluva twist!" Shepard held up a hand. "Just stay with me, okay? The Reapers are this kid's solution to the problem that the created will always rebel against the creators. So, the Reapers come every cycle to harvest advanced civilizations so they ultimately won't get destroyed by their synthetic creations."

"So this kid creates synthetics to kill us every 50,000 years so that we won't get killed by synthetics?" Mark cocked his head quizzically.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Shepard waved her hand. "But the point is, I'm the first organic who's ever met the Catalyst, so a _new _solution has to be developed. The kid tells me that I have three choices: I can either destroy all synthetic life; I can control the Reapers, but I lose everything I have; or synthesis, where all synthetic and organic life becomes combined."

Colin and Mark looked at each other, then back at Shepard. "So...which one do you choose?" Colin asked, shifting in his seat. He was almost afraid of the answer.

Shepard leaned back with a thoughtful look on her face. "I haven't quite gotten that far yet. I'm thinking destroy, for obvious reasons. But I could also pick control, and there could be a great shot of me struggling with the controls of the Crucible, then a big wave of energy goes out and then Reapers up and leave."

"But that doesn't solve the Reaper problem, does it? I mean, couldn't they come back?" Mark scratched his head.

"That's true." Shepard acquiesced. "So maybe I should pick the synthesis, then. Make a huge moment out of my dramatic sacrifice as I throw myself into the Crucible beam to save everyone. That could be good."

Colin's hands began to sweat and he ran them nervously through his hair. "Well, okay, those are some ideas, but either way the vid's going to end with you finding the Normandy and being reunited with Liara, right? People can't get enough of that story."

"Yeah, but it's been told a thousand times. That's boring. The best stories are the one where the tragic hero dies at the end, right? Either way, I think the last shot should just be of the Normandy crashing on that planet." Benezia was getting excited at her father's voice, and began waving the stuffed Wrex back and forth.

Mark's jaw dropped. "You want _that _to be the ending?" he asked incredulously.

Shepard nodded slowly with a broad grin on her face. "Isn't it _brilliant_? It's so edgy and artistic. They'll be tons of speculation. People will talk about it for months."

Colin opened his mouth to try to speak, but nothing came out. He looked over at his creative partner, who just shook his head. "Um, I'm not sure..." Colin began.

"Ah!" Shepard snapped her fingers and leaned forward. "Here's what you do: make three different endings, and then poll test audiences to see which one they like better. You can use almost the exact same footage for each ending, just change the colors of the explosions. It'll cut down on production costs."

Mark slowly put away his pad and stylus away. "C-commander, I don't think -"

Shepard stood and held up her hand apologetically. "I know, I know. I gave you guys a lot to think about. It's just a couple of ideas I had. You're the filmmakers." Colin and Mark rose as well, and shook Shepard's proffered hand. "I want to thank you two for coming over. It was a pleasure to meet you both."

"Yes, thank you, Commander," Colin said numbly as they were lead towards the door.

"Why don't you just write something up, and I'll take a look at it, okay?" Shepard said with a smile, gently coaxing them out the front door. "Bye!"

The two men found themselves deposited unceremoniously on the front stoop and walked back to the aircar in silence. They both got in, and Colin stared at the controls for a long moment with a dumbfounded expression on his face. He looked over at Mark.

"Did you understand any of that?"

Shepard cackled mischievously as she watched the aircar pull away. She looked down at Benezia and grinned. "And that is how you handle annoying little pyjaks who won't take 'no' for an answer." She heard an explosive guffaw behind her, and turned to see her eldest daughter doubled over in laughter.

"Dad! That was the best thing you've ever done!" Eva roared, nearly falling off her chair. "That made no sense at all!"

Shepard began laughing too, and looked over at Liara, who was trying very hard not to smile. "And what are you going to do when they come back with a new treatment?" she asked, shaking her head with a bemused expression on her face.

Shepard shrugged, her crooked grin widening. "What do you think? Tell them that's the worst ending I've ever heard."


End file.
